Washington, D.C. -- A trip wrap-up

I realized today that I haven’t updated about my vacation in Washington, DC! Ton and I spent eight days touring our my (he’s only a permanent resident not a citizen!) nation’s capital. It was fun but it was tiring. Driving was an absolute nightmare! I was thrilled to take the metro and not have to fool with it. The metro stop was at the end of the block by our hotel—so convenient!

Overall, DC seemed to lack heart and spirit to me. It felt like a place people work and people visit but not a place where people lived. (I should add the caveat that I came down with the flu my first night in DC and fought it the entire trip. That probably colored my perceptions.) Of course there were exceptions to this feeling, Chinatown, Woodley Park and Adams Morgan all felt very homey. But it was so easy to get overwhelmed by the history and the hype of the place that you would forget all of those places. I have to admit, I grew bored with the history and patriotic flag-waving of DC. The Korean War Memorial moved me to tears while the Vietnam Memorial didn’t have the impact that I thought it would. Arlington Cemetery felt sacred— Bobby Kennedy’s grave in particular moved me. It was so alone, so separate and also larger ignored by so many people who were touring that day. There were also three funerals while we were there. One was apparently of a fairly high-ranking person as he had a large honor detail and funeral cortege. Capitol Hill felt rather…slimy. So many staffers running about, trying to look confident and important. I didn’t even want to venture inside. We saved the Library of Congress tour for the last day—and wow. I was so overcome with the building that I never wanted to leave. What person who loves books, loves libraries, loves the very notion of an archives would ever WANT to leave? The building was so incredibly gorgeous that I felt my head would spin off from trying to look in all directions at once. I wanted to sit and absorb the feeling of that space—fill myself up with it.

But the best thing about DC, the most AMAZING thing was the art. Oh, my. To live in that place and have Vermeer at your fingertips, to have Picasso at your beck and call…Gah. I was wandering through the National Gallery and was so overwhelmed by it all that I could hardly breathe. I turned a corner and there before on the wall was Portrait of a Lady by Rogier van der Weyden. Much to Ton’s embarrassment I once again began to cry in an art gallery. I adore this painting. I wrote a paper on it for one of my art classes. I researched it in detail. And I had forgotten that this dear lady lives in DC now. What a joy to see it in person. She is exquisite. Simply masterful. And to see not one but three Vermeer! WOW. Unfortunately, the fourth one, “Woman holding a balance” was on loan to the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. Still very, very impressive and I couldn’t be sad at not having seen it. We discovered a surprising gem, the Renwick Gallery. One afternoon we visited the White House and decided to walk further down the street. We happened upon a beautiful art deco building and noticed it was a gallery. We decided to stop in and thank goodness we did! What a treat. They were hosting an exhibition of work of Greene and Greene. I adore their work—anything in the craftsman style is right up my alley. The exhibition was breath-taking—more so because it was completely unexpected. (Let me add a sidenote here: We had pictures of the White House, the Renwick Gallery, the Korean War and Vietnam Memorials but they have disappeared from Ton’s harddrive! Evidently in moving files to another disk, he erased them. He has been soundly lashed for the oversight.)

On to the important stuff-- we had wonderful food in DC! Never had a bad meal OR bad service and that’s saying something! Four meals in particular stand out. First was at a restaurant in the Woodley Park neighborhood—Mediterra. Serving Mediterranean/Middle Eastern food, it was simply wonderful! The baba ghanoush was TO DIE FOR! Another fantastic meal was had at La Tasca. I adore everything about tapas—the slow build of the meal, sharing good food, good wine and good times. And this place had incredible food! We also searched out Good Stuff, a burger joint that was opened by Top Chef contestant Spike Mendelsohn. And it was worth the journey! I had the Prez Obama burger—a burger topped with applewood bacon, Roquefort cheese and red onion marmalade and I also had a side order of Spike’s Village Fries—handcut fries topped with sea salt, cracked pepper, rosemary and thyme. Delish! Our final night, we ventured into Chinatown, the one spot in DC that I felt had true heart and character. We had a wonderful Chinese meal there one evening but on our last night we wanted something different. We found a tiny Indian restaurant and gave it a try. Wow. So glad we did! The service was incredible and the food was fantastic. Mehak was a perfect way to end our stay in DC.

I’m posting a few of my favorite pictures—they are in no way representative of everything we saw! These are simply the ones that stand out in my mind. I’ll post a link to the entire set at the end.

Lincoln Memorial at sunset


Mr. Lincoln


Metro Station—or the Senate Chamber from Star Wars. Or the pods from the Matrix???


World War II Memorial


Ton at the WWII Memorial—Look! North Carolina!


Gazing at the Library of Congress


Interior shot at the Library of Congress


Interior shot at the Library of Congress


Ton contemplating Giacomo Balla's Boccioini's Fist: Lines of Force II.


Sculpture contemplating Family of Saltimbanques, 1905 by Pablo Picasso. National Gallery of Art.


A view of Mondrian. National Gallery of Art.


An old married couple. National Zoo.


Mother and child. National Zoo.


Intruding. (I really felt like I was interrupting her private time with her baby.) National Zoo.


Jellyfish. National Zoo.


My beloved Komodo dragon. National Zoo.


Finally, the glasses that beg for a matching purse and hat.



If you want to see more, and let’s face it who wouldn’t, you can check out all of the rest on my Flickr page. Be warned, as usual, there are A LOT of pictures.

Wilmington, Your diamond sand was snowflakes...

The MLK holiday weekend was hanging long and empty before us. Dutch and I decided (that can be read as I decided) that the opportunity of a long weekend away was not to be missed. I planned a lovely trip to Atlanta to see an exhibit at the High Museum that was on loan from the Louvre. They were also hosting an exhibit of the terra-cotta soliders from China. But Dutch would have none of that. The hotels too expensive!! The drive too long!! The food costs astronomical! And the museum entrance fees for TWO days had him positively screaming.

There was nothing left to do. I compromised. I know. I am shocked, too. But I did. Wilmington, it was. Neither of us had ever been and two friends recommended the area highly. Here was our tentative agenda:

Sunday morning-- Leave home by 6AM for a 4 1/2 hour drive to the coast. (Atlanta is only a little bit further. But who was counting? )

Sunday afternoon-- a stop at Wrightsville Beach and then a tour of the USS North Carolina. Dinner somewhere-- preferably overlooking the Intercoastal waterway.

Monday morning-- Airlie Gardens
Monday afternoon-- Spent at the beach or maybe Fort Fisher and a short ferry ride.
Monday evening-- Riverwalk and a nice dinner on the Cape Fear River

Tuesday morning-- Historic Downtown Wilmington Tour followed by coffee at Port City Java.

I'm nothing, if not organized. I like to plan. I don't know why I bother. You can roll that agenda up and smoke it! We left an hour late, which is no big deal. Dutch is usually later than that! We arrived in good time and drove straight to Wrightsville Beach. And as soon as my foot hit the sand at the base of Johnny Mercer pier, it began to rain. But it's the beach! It's a passing shower, nothing more! We laughed and watched the rain drops drizzle down as we walked along. Finally, we gave up. It was cold! IT was wet! So we headed out to The Bluewater Grille, a restaurant that received rave reviews AND it was on the Intercoastal Waterway. It was very busy and that is usually a great sign. The interior was gorgeous with heavily carved mouldings, a pressed tin ceiling and a polished wood bar. And the food? Meh. I had a shrimp po'boy with pasta salad. Dutch had the greek salad. I was NOT impressed. The shrimp were large but completely flavorless. The bread was NOT house made. IT was a limp roll. Very disappointing start. And the rain? It was falling harder by the minute. No USS North Carolina for us. We opted instead to do a bit of shopping at the Cotton Exchange-- a mall that is housed in the old cotton exchange building. It was quaint-- and mostly closed. That's right, evidently Wilmington shuts down for the season. Lovely. We finally gave up and went to check into the hotel. Where we promptly took a nap.

Upon waking, with nothing better to do, we decided to eat again. This time trying a local diner that had been voted as the best burger and fries in Wilmington for seven years in a row-- PT's Grill. Wow. SOOOOOO glad we went! I had the PT original burger with fries and a side order of blue cheese dressing, , lemonade to drink . Dutch had a turkey sandwich with fries. Outstanding on both counts! It's a quirky place, where you fill out your own order ticket and hand it to the guy behind the counter. Then you watch them grill it up from your table-- high tables surrounded by wooden bar stools. The place was very busy and the only table left had a stool that was labeled, "RON". It was the only labeled stool in the place. Clearly for one of their regulars. It was also the stool that I was sitting on. Dutch was very nervous and kept commenting that he hoped Ron wasn't a big dude! He didn't want to fight for the stool. It was still raining when we left, so we called it a night. Nothing seemed appealing in that weather.

Monday dawned bright and beautiful. Dutch woke up gray and SICKly. Lovely. But he was a trooper and pushed on. Soo....Airlie Gardens was a go! We arrived early and were the first ones in the gate. The entire time we spent there, we only saw three other people. It was like having the place to ourselves. It was worth every penny of the $5 admission price. We chose to have a real lunch but instead snack on protein bars and rice crackers. Yes, we are party animals! We also decided to drive to Fort Fisher and also go the NC Aquarium there. Fort Fisher was closed. Well, the museum was. The beach is always open. It was quite lovely. There was a little thicket of trees that were so tightly woven that there was only a small hole to go in. Dutch had to check it out-- and of course I followed. It was like going into Fangorn Forest-- it felt dark and mysterious and the branches get pulling my hair. Luckily the trail out of the thicket was clearly marked and opened up rather quickly.

Then it was on to the aquarium! Which proved to be a BAD idea. It was FREE DAY!! Whee!!! A million people with their hordes of children. It was nice to escape to the relative quiet of the beach after that! And escape we did to the Kure Beach pier. Now, many of you know that I don't like the ocean. It terrifies me. And piers are the WORST. You're walking out over all that pounding water that wants nothing more than to undermine the pilings and pull the whole thing out to sea. I escaped the panic by taking pictures of birds. Lots and lots of pictures of birds. And then I became oddly fascinated by the way the sand billowed in the crashing waves. I understand by war photographers get into trouble-- things seem so calm and so removed when viewed through an lens.

Now, if you've been looking back at the agenda you know that Monday night was our fancy dinner on the Cape Fear River night. I have three restaurants in mind. George's on the Riverwalk, Elijah's on the Riverwalk and Circa 1922. The first restaurant on the walk is Elijah's. It was closed for remodelling. Lovely. Next? George's. Closed on Monday evenings. Circa 1922? Well, I THINK we found it on Front Street and if it WAS the place it was PACKED. Absolutely PACKED with people in much better dress than ours standing in front of it with drinks in hand. Oh, well. We finally gave in and went to Bonefish Grill, which is a chain but one that I love. I had the salmon with bacon, spinach and gorgonzola and Dutch had Chicken Marsala. I followed it with a macadamia nut brownie and ice cream. Life was good again.

Except it wasn't. Because the forecast was for snow on Tuesday. And we woke up to a cold rain and everything in Wilmington canceled due to the threat of bad weather. I thought we should forgo our historic downtown walk and head home before the snow struck. Over breakfast we decided to check the weather along I-40 before making a decision. This confirmed my worst fears-- we would be driving home in a frozen HELL. Raleigh already had at least an inch of snow on the ground and it was barreling towards the coast. That was it. We decided to head home immediately. BAD IDEA. REALLY BAD IDEA. I-40 was frozen solid from just outside of Duplin, NC all the way through to Chapel Hill, NC. I only skidded once but was so tense, I was almost in tears the entire time. (I only cried once and that was because Dutch yelled at me!!!! All his fault!!!!) We really should have stayed another day on the coast. Luckily the weather cleared outside of Chapel Hill and by the time we made Burlington, the roads were clear and dry. Dutch took over the driving at that point. A really cool side note: it was inauguration day. I heard Obama's speech on the radio and it felt rather like we were in a different time and place. Instead of seeing on television, or internet, I was hearing it, like my mother or my grandmother would have heard it in their time. It was like coming full circle, somehow. It felt oddly appropriate, very fitting for the message he delivered.

Anyway, that was our Wilmington trip. It didn't go quite as planned. We didn't do everything we wanted to do and many, many things were closed for the season. I wouldn't mind going back when Wilmington is at her best-- hosting ghost tours, trolley cars and open shops. I would like to see more of Historic Downtown Wilmington, which was so beautiful and filled with old Southern dignity and charm. But if I don't go, I won't be heartbroken. Wilmington seemed to lack the heart that draws me to Nags Head. It's a middle ground between the horrible hype that is Myrtle Beach and the charm that is the Outer Banks. If I had it to do over? I would have gone to Atlanta. :-P

You can see the photos on Flickr: Wilmington, NC January 19th, 2009

Oh, and the thing I regret most?? I never did get that coffee.

Oost, West, Thuis Best

I'm home. We managed to get into Charlotte yesterday, a little after 4pm. It was a loooooooong flight home-- around 10 hours or so. Lots of turbulence made it even longer. I like turbulence but standing in the plane rather resembled surfing. Thank god that I developed some sense of balance due to standing on trams and trains or going to the bathroom on the plane would have been impossible!!!!

ANYWAY....sorry that I skipped out on the last few days of the trip. We stayed in Leiden and Dutch's sister didn't have wireless internet. The post I made from Leiden was done on a stolen connection-- hey, I didn't know it wasn't THEIR network!!!!! I did make it to the Hague to see Vermeer's "Girl with a Pearl Earring". Incredible. She commands so much attention. But I have to admit it was "The Goldfinch" by Carel Fabritius that captivated me completely. Dutch's sister also felt I should see the Hague's Municipal Museum. And she was right. It was gorgeous. The building was built by Berlage (Dutch's favorite architect and famed for his creation of the "Amsterdam School" of architecture design) and is a work of art in its own right. But inside the collection is modern but not in the pretentious, artsy way. Best of all were the works of Piet Mondrian. I definitely gained a new appreciation for his work. Like the Van Gogh museum, the works are laid out chronologically so that you can see the progression of the artist. The earlier works are darker and appeal to me a bit more but they're all great. Most surprising to me was the deterioration of the canvases, especially those painted later, in New York. They are frayed at the edges, with the paint "yellowing" a bit. Amazing that the works of Frans Hals and others from much earlier periods should survive in such grand condition. Oh, there was also a fantastic exhibit of the works of the father and son painters, Jozef and Isaac Israëls. It was in this exhibit that Dutch's sister and I kept walking into the rooms and moving towards the same painting. Evidently, she has the same exquisite taste that I have!! One piece in particular caught our eye-- "Amsterdam Girl". I've got a picture of it-- if I can finally get around to posting it.

Friday was the funeral. Cultural anthropologists sometimes say that to understand a culture, you need to understand their death rituals. I think that's probably true. The funeral was very short. We actually rode with the family as honored guests. It's most likely the only time I'll ever be in a stretch Mercedes limo! We left the funeral home and a man in top hat and full mourning garb walked in front of the limo. But he only walked about 100 yards before he got in the car carrying the coffin. He got out again when we arrived at the chapel and walked the last 100 yards or so. Weird. The family was ushered in, greeted the "guests" and then we filed into a room where the coffin was placed. The deceased brother spoke a few words. Carly Simon's "Coming Around Again" was played (it was her favorite). Finally, the family walked past the coffin and said their final farewell before the rest of the gathering did the same. Then everyone went out into the lobby and had coffee, tea, cake and cookies. It was rather like blah, blah, blah, let's eat! Not to say it wasn't somber-- it just felt so VERY different and very, very Dutch. Oh, and the family sends out death notices to all friends and family immediately following the death-- the day of or the day after at the latest. Who the HECK can think well enough to do that so soon after losing a loved one?? It also speaks to the practicality of the Dutch that they only bury their dead for 15 years. You can "renew" the grave for longer if you're willing to pay for it. But most people just allow their loved ones to be dug up and disposed of. It's not a matter of respect but a matter of space.

Enough on such gruesome matters-- time to move on!! Saturday, we went to Delft for a quick trip around a beautiful town. Dutch's mother was raised in Delft and he was excited to visit again after a number of years away. Dutch spoke fondly of time spent with his Opa, aunts, uncles and cousins and showed me where he played when he was young, as well as the place his mother grew up. I also made a pilgrimage there because of the town's connection to Vermeer. We went to OudeKerk and saw the original grave marker of Vermeer (his body was moved long, long ago to his mother-in-laws family crypt). We ventured to Nieuwe Kerk and saw the royal tomb of William of Orange, who was assassinated in Delft, and the marker for the entrance to the royal crypt for the "royals" of House of Orange-Nassau. I wanted to spend more time there, but we had to get back for a trip to Katwijk. That's right, we went to the beach!! Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous!!! How many times have I used that word??? We had dinner at Key West, a restaurant right on the beach. (I had Schnitzel Key West-- chicken pounded very thin and lightly breaded, topped with warm brie and tomato.) We watched the sun go down over the North Sea before heading home for coffee, tea and cake.

Sunday we went with Dutch's sister's family to Panbos, near Katwijk but it's a completely different feel than the beach. It's a heavily wooded area that felt like being home, walking a trail on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Except that there's a tank wall built by the Germans-- a massive wall used as a line of defense against the allies that might try to land at Katwijk and come inland. It would have been a huge job to knock down this wall but the Dutch also keep these fortifications as a reminder. As I said before, it's these reminders that make the war and everything I've studied, real.

Monday, it was raining but that didn't stop us from returning to Haarlem for one last look around. We walked to St. Bavokerk to see the grave of another favorite painter of mine, Frans Hals. But I hadn't done my research (shocking, I know!!!) and we couldn't get close to it. We were only able to look through the locked gate of the chapel and see it. It's only opened on special occasions. Oh, well. What I hadn't anticipated was seeing one of the most beautiful pipe organs imaginable! It's said that this organ is one of the most beautiful in the world-- well, at least sound-wise. So beautiful in fact that Handel made a pilgrimage just to play on it. As did a young Mozart. I can't attest to the sound, no one was playing it for lowly tourists, but it is a work of art. After that trip, it was home again to pack and say final farewells before leaving on Tuesday.

Someday, I'll tell about our trip to Frankfurt and the odyssey of finding our hotel, but this post is already way too long! That's it. Except for the promised pictures. I'm working on those, too. Maybe tomorrow. Or Saturday. Or Sunday.

Right now, I just want to SLEEP.

Leiden.

Somber greetings from Leiden. We heard Tuesday morning that one of Dutch's friends passed away on Monday. Remember the old friends we spend Sunday with? It was a brother and sister that Dutch met long ago when he worked at IBM. Well, the sister died Monday morning of a stroke. She was fine when we were with her on Sunday, so this was a huge surprise. Yesterday we went to Weesp to spend some time with him before journeying on to Leiden to spend a few days here with Dutch's sister. Tomorrow, we'll go back to Weesp for the funeral. Very sad news. Dutch is quite shaken. Today, we're going to the Hague and I will finally, hopefully, get to see Vermeer's Girl with the Pearl Earring.

But some of the shine is gone. It's scary when things like this happen. It's hard not to internalize such a shock.

Whew. Busy, busy, busy!!

How's it going??? I've been so busy, I've not had time to sit at a computer and write anything! The weekend went mostly as planned-- Friday night was dinner at a fantastic restaurant near the North Sea. I can't remember the name of the town...I'll have to ask Dutch (I probably couldn't spell it even if I did remember!) Saturday was "family day" and we watched the nephews play voetball (soccer!!!). The vader-in-law drove us to Leimuiden and showed us his birthplace and told us stories of the German occupation. It is strange to see the war from a different perspective-- it makes it very real when you hear that Dutch's grandfather was placed in an execution line up but managed to bluff his way out of it. It's a family history that I never thought I would experience. Saturday evening was spent in Zaandam with more friends of Dutch. They were super nice! And we had amazing tapas! Manchego cheese with pine nuts, walnuts and garlic oil, bread with aioli, chicken with chorizo, catfish renellos (roasted red pepper stuffed with catfish, bread crumbs and grated manchego) and eggplant stuffed with bread crumbs, tomato, cheese and egg, scrambled eggs with spanish ham, grilled pork tenderloin in an amazing light cream and wine sauce. All washed down and the best sangria in the world!!!!

Sunday was a bit of a change-- we still saw one of Dutch's best buddies but we didn't go to Muiden. We went instead to Arnhem to the Open Air Museum. It's quite a nice place, big by Dutch standards, where you can see many historic monuments that have been moved there from all over the Netherlands. Its rather like seeing a microcosm of the country! There's windmills from all over, as well as a cheese factory, a brewery, a working farm, city gates, tram stations, and bridges. A little bit of everything, all gathered within an easy walk. We ended the day by having dinner at a bar in "Naarden. Naarden is gorgeous! It's tiny, quaint, and very old. It is also a VERY expensive place to live. But at any rate, I had a really good chicken sate with a strange potato salad (indescribable but okay, really) and what was labeled a "salad" but looked more like chopped coleslaw except made with lettuce and cucumbers. Very strange, indeed. The bar was loud, but gezellig . The football game was on and it was an important match-- Ajax vs. Feyenoord. It was a "must win" game for both, or so I'm told. I believe they tied-- if you're interested (which I wasn't).

Today, Dutch and I parted ways. He went to Helmond (hey Buffy fans-- he went to the Hellmouth!!) and I went into Amsterdam with Mum-in-law. We went to see the new exhibit of Caspar David Friedrich at the Hermitage Amsterdam. German romantic landscape paintings-- very nice! We then walked through the Jewish quarter to Rembrandt House. Beautiful etchings-- I never saw Rembrandt like this before! The etchings are better than the paintings! Impressive!! After that, we went to The Jewish Historical Museum. It was quite moving and very beautiful. After a brief lunch of brie cheese, tomatoes and basil on fresh rolls, we ventured to the Van Gogh Museum. I forget how much I LIKE Van Gogh until I see it in person. The books and reprints do not do him justice. His work is textural-- you really need to see it in person to appreciate the beauty.

Now, I'm having a glass of wine and then some Lumpia with the in-laws.

Then, I just might collapse.

All this fun is very tiring. Yes, yes, I know cry you a river. :-P

*waves*

I've given up on posting pictures. The in-law's network is bouncing like a well-endowed go-go dancer and drops the uploads. Very frustrating!!!! On top of that, I've been so busy I've not had a lot of time to even think about writing it all down! We spent Monday in Amsterdam, shopping (I bought Lush products! Wheee!) and Tuesday was the Stedlijk (City) Museum. It's a modern art museum and they were having an exhibition of digital photography. It was, in a single word, horrible. If that was artistic vision, I would eat my shoes. I want art that inspires me, that moves me in some emotional sense. The only emotion I felt was anger that a man got paid to take a photo of a drunken 20-something man pissing on a chair. It wasn't even a Rietveld chair-- just a normal, average chair. UGH. The best part of Tuesday was definitely going into Amsterdam's new, gorgeous library! Seven floors of amazing architecture, beautiful modern art installations, and gorgeously laid-out shelving and seating. The top floor is a cafe with a terrace that looks out over the harbor and gives an amazing view of the city. We had lunch in the cafe to enjoy the view! I have pictures that you will see someday. I hope. *sigh*

Wednesday was spent in Haarlem. I loved this town, built around an old city square. The feeling here is timeless. We could have been walking down the street in the 14th century or modern day. It exudes the feeling of the ages. We went to the Frans Hals Museum and I finally saw my St. Adrian Civic Guard painting that I've been longing to see. Hals work is truly inspiring and perfect. He remains one of my all-time favorites.

Thursday was spent in Utrecht. An odd city, with half the city being ultra-modern and the other half being very old. It was here though, that we found our favorite museum, Utrecht Centraal Museum. They seem to have the best of everything, beautifully displayed. Some painters I wasn't familiar with, but fell in love with immediately as well as a large collection of Rietveld furniture and house plans. This museum administers the Rietveld Schroder house which we wanted to tour but couldn't get tickets! As it was, we just enjoyed the things on display. Then we went into Amsterdam for a late supper of Falafel and Belgian fries, and wandered through the red light district. It's in the old part of town and it's a lovely walk (in more ways than one! *winks*)

Today, we're off to the Rijksmuseum and tonight is dinner with an old friend of Dutch. We're eating somewhere near the beach! Tomorrow, it's off to Leiden to see Dutch's nephews play football and then dinner out with another old friend (tapas! Whee!). Sunday, we're spending the day with yet another old friend in Muiden-- visiting Muiderslot and the old city defense posts. After that?? I have no idea. There's always SOMETHING going on!

Tot Ziens!

Tragedy.

The trip has taken a turn for the worse.

There are no mergpijpjes. That's right. We can't find them. The pastry shops??? None. The Albert Heijn?? Nope. Well, we did find the little ones, but they aren't as good. We found a few of the bigger ones in single packages by a different company at the gas station up the street but they sucked.


WHERE OH WHERE ARE MY MERGPIPJS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?